When planning a wedding you’re likely to experience a whirlwind of emotions; excitement, elation, joy, anxiety and stress. American culture focuses exclusively on the upside of getting married, but the truth is that along with the happiness comes a lot of work and some natural anxiety. Getting married means transitioning from your current (single) identity, to a combined identity (as a married couple). Here are the 5 types of stress you are most likely to encounter while planning your wedding:
1.) Money related stress- According to the the average wedding in the US (in 2010) cost roughly $27,800. Much of the cost of the wedding is related to the area of the country that you reside in (Urban areas tend to be more expensive). With more and more brides and grooms footing (at least part of) the bill, this can cause extra strain and conflict with everyone involved in contributing financially.
2.) Family Relationship stress- Because the more people you include in any venture the more complex it becomes- family members can unintentionally cause additional stress. In many weddings the bride and groom are trying to manage the wants and needs of several different families and family members. This task can be virtually impossible to handle; you can’t make all of the people happy all of the time.
3.) Wedding planning stress- The process of planning a wedding takes, on average, 16 months and 250 hours of effort. The intensity of wedding planning stress is different for everyone and largely depends on several factors: how flexible your work schedule is, how involved your partner is in the planning, the amount of social support/help (moms, sisters, friends, etc.) you have at hand, and the amount of money you have at your disposal (more money = less leg work). The amount of time spent planning a wedding can be similar to having a part time job (for the duration of your engagement). In modern times brides are often already pressed for time and the pressure to squeeze in all the wedding related tasks can cause extra strain.
4.) Partner related stress- planning a wedding with your partner can be incredibly romantic and fun, but also challenging and emotional. Because of all of the dynamics involved (especially extended family members and their needs/opinions) in this process, your relationship is likely to be prone to more conflict and disagreement than usual. This in turn may cause anxiety related to committing your life to a person that you suddenly find yourself arguing with more than ever before.
5.) Transition related stress- You are planning a ceremony that symbolizes you leaving your family of origin and joining with your husband to form a new family. In many ways this change is exciting and invigorating, however it can also be scary and unknown. Each of you is likely to have ideas about what it means to be a wife or husband and sometimes the thought of navigating this unknown territory together can be a little overwhelming.
Weddings are a time of excitement and celebration. But along with the joy there can also be additional stress and strain. The important thing is to be aware of your limits, and do what it takes to take care of yourself. If you are worn-out or overwhelmed planning your wedding won’t be any fun at all.